Hi Mom. I Love You

A memoir of grief, identity, and becoming.

Hi Mom, I Love You
From Shame to Pride: My Journey of Self-Acceptance

Colorful book cover with butterflies and the text "Hi Mom, I love you." Subtitle reads "From Shame to Pride: My Journey of Self-Acceptance" by John Robert.

Hi Mom, I Love You is my memoir about healing, grief, and learning to live authentically. It follows my journey from shame and self-hatred to self-acceptance, forgiveness, and a steadier relationship with myself. The book includes over 40 pieces of my original artwork woven throughout the story.

For years, I carried the weight of being gay in a world that made it feel unsafe to be fully seen. After my mom passed, I began writing letters to her, starting each one with the phrase, “Hi Mom, I love you.” Those letters became a lifeline. They helped me process grief, tell the truth about what I had been carrying, and begin again.

A turning point came when I started noticing how many of my thoughts were not truly mine. I began asking, “Whose voice is that?” That question helped me separate my real self from the old voices of judgment and shame, and slowly make room for compassion.

If you have ever felt different, unworthy, or lost in your search for identity, I hope this book helps you feel less alone.

Artwork from the Book

The memoir includes over 40 pieces of original art. Here are three from inside the book.

Abstract artwork featuring chaotic scribbles and handwritten words in black over a textured, dark blue background. The prominent words include "loser," "failure," "never good enough," and "dumb," conveying themes of self-doubt and anxiety. The center has lighter, swirling colors, creating a focal point amidst the text.

Early in the story: the mental darkness I was living in.

The middle: a memory from childhood, inspired by something my mom crocheted.

Colorful painting of a cherry blossom tree with pink flowers and a vibrant landscape background

Toward the end: a tree that holds where I landed, and where the book closes.


To everyone who has walked with me through this season of healing, thank you.

Handwritten text "John" with a heart symbol beside it in blue ink.