Breaking Free from the Fear of Being Seen
Have you ever felt afraid of being seen for who you truly are?
A few months ago, I published Hi Mom, I Love You, a book about my journey of self-acceptance. I expected it to feel freeing, but instead, I found myself retreating into silence. Rather than celebrating this milestone, I avoided talking about the book—because of the deeply personal struggles I had shared, which included self-destructive behaviors. I also pulled back from sharing my work with intuitive Soul Drawings, afraid of being judged or misunderstood. The fear was paralyzing. I started to question whether my voice even mattered and lost sight of why I wrote my book in the first place—and why I channel Soul Drawings.
Hiding Behind Masks
Showing up as my authentic self has been a struggle since childhood. I used to wear different masks for different people, adapting to what made them comfortable, and so I could fit in. But over time, I lost myself in the process. Only a few people truly knew me.
Today, I’m changing that.
The Struggle of Sharing My Work
It doesn’t take a business degree to know that to make sales, you have to market your work. But the issue is, I’m not a traditional artist, intuitive, or author. My work is deeply personal—it’s tied to who I am. And sharing it? That terrifies me.
I wish I could be a “regular” artist, painting landscapes or still lifes. But my work holds meaning beyond the image. That means I have to share that meaning—and sharing that meaning requires vulnerability. Vulnerability invites judgment, and that’s something I’ve been avoiding.
When I published Hi Mom, I Love You, I lost sight of why I shared my story in the first place. I wanted to remind people that they’re not alone—that others struggle too, and it’s okay. But soon after, the fear of judgment took over. I became afraid of what people would think about me, what they would think about my struggles, and whether they would understand or even care.
And then there’s the other side of my work—my Soul Drawings. They feel strange, even to me at times. There aren't many people working in the same space as I am, and it’s uncomfortable for me to talk about. I’ve been hiding, staying small, trying to protect myself from the discomfort of sharing something so personal.
But I know that both my story and my work need to be shared. My story is a voice for those who feel unseen, and my Soul Drawings are a way to help people connect with their deeper selves. I can’t keep hiding.
There are still pieces of me waiting to be expressed—pieces of pain, emotion, and truth that belong on a canvas. I’m ready to let them out.
Letting Go of Bitterness
My journey is unfolding, and I want to make it clear that I don’t create my work from a place of anger or bitterness. My intention is not to hurt anyone, but to heal—and in that healing, I want to give others permission to do the same.
For much of my life, I believed the negative things people said about me—that I was broken, wrong, unworthy. But as I grow, I’m realizing that none of that was ever true. There was never anything wrong with me.
I have every reason to hold onto bitterness, to carry that anger. But I’m choosing to release it, not for anyone else, but for me. I refuse to let that negativity fester inside me any longer. The choice to forgive and let go of that pain isn’t for them—it’s for my peace, so I can create from a place of love, not fear.
Who Am I Really Afraid Of?
Strangers don’t scare me. If my work resonates with someone, great! If not, that’s okay—it wasn’t meant for them.
But the people who knew me—the ones from high school, old coworkers, family—that’s where the fear creeps in. I spent so long trying to stay small, thinking it would protect me. But hiding didn’t keep me safe—it kept me stuck.
Every time I avoided talking about my work, I wasn’t just avoiding judgment—I was silencing myself. And the more I silenced myself, the further I drifted from who I really am.
Here I was, a web developer for over eight years, and now I’m talking about intuitive work and baring my soul for people to see. And it freaks me out.
What will that person from high school think?
What about coworkers?
What about family members?
Logically, I know it doesn’t matter. But deep down, that little boy who was teased and rejected for being different still cares.
Choosing to Be Seen
This journey—whether you call it healing or spiritual—has been forcing me to step forward and face my fears. These were fears of:
Quitting my job and losing financial security.
Writing a deeply personal book about my struggles.
Being seen and misunderstood.
But today, I’m breaking free from that fear. Even though it still scares me, I’m choosing to show up anyway.
What’s Next?
Insights about Soul Drawings and my book.
Lessons I’ve learned along the way.
How to connect with Spirit and tap into your intuition.
Finding your voice and following your heart.
So much more!
Not every post will be this deep—I promise! I’m looking forward to sharing more of my journey with you.
✨ If you’ve ever felt afraid of being seen for who you truly are, I hope this space reminds you that you’re not alone. Let’s navigate this path together.
👉 Want to follow along? I’ll be posting twice a month, so stay tuned for more! Be sure to follow me on Instagram to catch my next post!
